


Let's Play Pretend

by SlappyMagoo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, M/M, Mutual Pining, Stiles Stilinski Being an Idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 20:24:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11192763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlappyMagoo/pseuds/SlappyMagoo
Summary: Stiles tries to pull a prank on Derek while he's high on medication. It doesn't go to plan.*Based off of the wisdom-teeth videos I see floating around the interwebs*





	Let's Play Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen a lot of funny post-surgery videos lately, and was inspired. Scott and Derek are step-brothers in this fic, and everyone is a human.

Stiles snickered quietly when he saw Derek's eyebrows pinch together, a warning that he was finally waking up from his medicated slumber.

"Man, oh man. I can't wait to hear what he's going to say. Do you think he will cry? I hope he cries." Stiles finished adjusting his phone's camera settings, and leaned it against a jar of cotton balls, facing the camera towards Derek's still figure.

Stiles was absolutely giddy with excitement. He had seen the Youtube videos of people taping their loved ones after surgery, coming away with priceless videos that varied from cute and embarrassing to downright hilarious. Stiles was hoping for the hilarious variety in this case.

"I'm pretty sure you're going to be the one crying after the medication wears off and he finds out what you've done." Scott warned, sitting in one of the two uncomfortable plastic chairs in the room, idly flipping through his phone.

Psh. "Tears of joy, my friend. Tears of joy. Besides, what's a little humiliation between friends?"

Scott snorted, "He's not your friend." and looked down at his phone when it gave a little chirp. "It's Allison. Do you care--?"

Stiles shook his head and watched Scott quietly shut the door on his way out. He tried to ignore the twinge in his chest at Scott's words. So what if Derek wasn't his friend? It wasn't like Stiles was in love with the guy or anything, right?

Right?

A quiet groan cut through his thoughts, and Stiles gave a start, swiveling his head around to look at Derek. The man was approaching wakefullness pretty quickly, head moving slowly to the side, with small grunts getting caught in his throat.

'The camera!' Stiles lunged for his phone, pressing the record button before readjusting the placement. Quickly, he returned to his spot directly to Derek's right, grinning at the camera and posing with a double thumbs-up. Ooh, what fun!

"Whassat?" Derek's eyes slowly slid open, glancing around unfocused, before closing again.

This happened a few more times, before Derek's eyes gained more clarity, and were able to focus on Stiles' own.

"Hey sweetums, how was your nap?" Stiles grinned, gripping the guard rail and leaning over slightly to get a better view.

Dark eyebrows drew together once more, this time showing confusion. "Who?"

Stiles blinked. Derek's voice was raspy and soft, and it was definitely not doing anything to his stomach. He was just gassy is all. "Who what?"

Derek's eyes closed for a minute, and Stiles waited patiently for them to reopen.

When Derek focused on him again, Stiles got the impression that he was being evaluated; Derek's eyes traced his features slowly, as if trying to memorize them. Stiles fidgeted.

After another minute of silence, Derek tried again, "Are you a nurse?"

Wait, what? "Uh..." Stunned, Stiles glanced toward the camera propped up on the counter. Was this too good to be true?

Derek's eyes shut, and he took a deep breath, "You're beautiful." The words came out slurred and quiet, but they still rang in Stiles ears as if Derek had screamed them.

Wait, what?

"Um?" Stiles felt the beginnings of a blush sting his cheeks and ears. This was not what he was expecting at all.

The paper beneath Derek's body rustled loudly as he shifted. "Are you seeing anyone?" Derek's eyes opened and he stared at Stiles.

This was beyond weird. Sure, Stiles had expected Derek to laugh uncontrollably and say stupid shit for the next 10 minutes, but for him to start hitting on Stiles like this?

Was Stiles the drugged one? What was even happening?

He came to himself when he realized that he didn't answer the question, and that Derek was still staring at him with slightly unfocused eyes. What could he say here? Should he come clean and stop recording?

Yeah. That would be the right thing to do, but...

Somewhere deep inside, Stiles wanted to know what it would be like; What if he could pretend, just for a little while, that Derek was his? Nobody had to know. Derek probably wouldn't remember--and if he did, Stiles could play it off as a harmless prank, right? He had the phone for evidence. It would be fine.

Right?

"Um, yes. Well, no. Wait--" Shit, what was he doing? He was going to mess this up before it even began! "We are married! Married. Husbands. You are my husband."

Nice.

Derek's eyes widened, and he looked legitimately surprised. "You're my husband?"

Heat was blooming through Stiles' cheeks, and he knew he was blushing hard. He jerked his head in a shy affirmation, and bit his lip. Was this going too far? Should he stop?

Derek continued to stare at Stiles, eyes soaking up every inch that they could. "Wow, that's..." His eyes drifted away from Stiles for a moment, considering this new information. He turned back and a small dopey smile stained his lips. "You're my husband?" he asked again.

"Yeah, we uh, we got married a few months ago." Stiles lied through his teeth. Hey, at least he could come away from this fiasco with a little more self confidence. Stiles had always been too thin, too pale, too plain, and being surrounded by attractive, supernatural beings wasn't helping his self-confidence.

Sure, Derek was high as a kite, but still. It was nice to be admired, even under the current circumstances.

"Hmm." Derek's eyes closed for a long moment, before he seemed to gather himself, asking, "You have nice lips. Have we kissed yet?"

'Shit.' What did that mean? Did Derek want to kiss Stiles? "W-well yeah, of course we have! I mean, we're married, right? We kiss all the time! More than all the time! Sometimes you just can't enough of these puppies! Not that I blame you!" Stiles bit his lip to stop himself from talking for two seconds, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

Derek's cheek dimpled in a genuine smile, "You're cute."

Stiles couldn't help himself when he blurted, "You think i'm cute?"

The loopy smile continued to grace Derek's normally grouchy expression, "I think you're gorgeous."

Stiles felt his chest tighten and his throat closed up. That's it, this was too much for his heart. Why play with fire like this? Derek obviously wasn't in his right mind, and Stiles felt too emotionally vulnerable to continue this game. He cautiously glanced toward the door, wondering when Scott was going to be back, and if this was going to blow up in his face. "I think you should try to go back to sleep, buddy."

Derek's hand twitched, and maybe Stiles was imagining it, but did he catch a glimpse of disappointment? His eyes lowered, and after a minute of silence he asked quietly, "Can I kiss you?"

What?

What?

Stiles' mind went blank. Kiss Derek? Stiles totally didn't want to take advantage of Derek in this state--well, anymore than already he had. Besides, this would be going way too far--there would be no coming back from this if Derek ever did remember what happened.

Stiles began shaking his head, opening his mouth to protest-- to tell Derek the truth, when Derek rumbled a desperate, "Please."

So unfair.

Before he knew what he was doing, Stiles leaned over the guard rail and brushed his lips against Derek's, gasping softly at the scratch of Derek's beard against his face.

It was supposed to be a small peck--just a little something to tide him over for the rest of eternity, but when Stiles tried to pull away, Derek's hand reached up and gripped the hair at the back of Stiles' head, keeping him close, and engaging him in another kiss.

Stiles was floating. Sure, the bar of the guard rail was digging into his stomach, and Derek's hand was clenched almost uncomfortably in his hair, but he could ignore the discomfort as long as Derek's mouth was on his.

Their lips slid wetly against each other. Stiles could feel Derek's hot breath against his lips each time he pulled away for a quick gasp of air, before being pulled back in to lose it again. Stiles pulled away once more to draw in some much-needed oxygen, when Derek mumbled one word that broke Stiles' from his beautiful fantasy.

"Stiles."

Hmmm.... 

Wait---

Stiles jerked his head back, staring wide-eyed into Derek's equally surprised eyes.

'Oh, God, no.' "What did you say?"

Stiles watched Derek swallow tightly and tried not to break apart as he felt Derek's hand leave his hair.

"Stiles--"

He was cut off when the door to the room opened, revealing Scott's concerned expression. He looked between them cautiously.

"Everything all right in here?"

Stiles didn't have to think twice. Quickly, he forced his body to move out that door, unconsciously leaving his phone behind in the room.

How could he have been so stupid? Of course Derek would remember. How could he explain this?How could he face him again?

His eyes prickled hotly. He couldn't.

\---

Stiles stayed clear of the Hale-McCall compound afterwards. Scott had spent three hours trying to coax details out of Stiles, before coming over and giving his phone back without a word. His eyes were heavy with sympathy, and he looked legitimately sorry for snooping, but all Stiles could feel was relief that he would not have to explain anything to his friend.

They didn't speak about it.

 

\---

A week had passed, and Stiles was beginning to hope that his mess-up would go unpunished, when he caught sight of Derek making his way up the walkway to his front door.

His heart leapt in his throat, and he flailed for a good 10 seconds, dropping the peanut butter he had been using to make his sandwich, before resigning himself to his fate, and answering the impatient knocks.

"Hi." Oh God, his face burned. He refused to look into Derek's eyes, and instead focused on a point past Derek's shoulder.

"Stiles," Shit, he couldn't do this. "We need to talk."

Stiles cleared his throat meekly, "We are talking. We are conversing right now, in fact. Did you--"

"I like you."

Stiles' words crawled up and died in his throat. What? "What?"

"I like you, Stiles."

Stiles did a quick glance behind Derek to make sure there wasn't a tactfully hidden camera somewhere. "Derek, I-- What?"

Derek stepped into Stiles' space, "I know about the video..."

Heat bloomed throughout Stiles' cheeks, and he suddenly understood. Derek was getting back at him.

"You don't need to do this," Oh God, his eyes were stinging. He will not cry in front of Derek Hale, dammit! "I already feel stupid enough."

Derek stared at him for a long minute, before stepping even closer, "Why do you think I went along with it?"

Suddenly, Stiles exploded. "Just stop, okay! It was supposed to be a joke!" He knew his eyes were misty, and that he was trembling, but he stood his ground, "But then you started flirting, and I wanted to see what it would be like, alright!? I like you--so what?! You don't have to come here and make me feel like a--mmph!"

Stiles let out a really unmanly squeal as his body was pressed hard against the door frame, and his mouth was covered with Derek's hot, dry lips.

It was over too soon, and a small whine left Stiles' mouth when Derek pulled away. He was rewarded with another quick peck, but stayed close this time, resting his forehead against Stiles' own.

"Why do you think I went along with it?" He asked again, "I was awake from the minute you started setting up your camera, so why would I play along?" His thumbs kneaded circles above Stiles' hipbones, and, 'Oh hey, when did his hands get there?'

Derek continued, "Everything I said at the hospital was the truth. I like you." Stiles shifted, feeling very self-conscious. "--I was just too afraid that I would ruin everything if I pursued you."

"Pursued me? What, am I some victorian damsel?"

Derek lifted his head away a few inches, eyes tracing Stiles' features. Stiles noted with surprise that Derek's cheeks were tinted pink, and his hands were shaking. His heart thumped painfully at that realization. Derek was scared that Stiles would reject him.

What an absolute idiot.

Stiles bit his lip, reveling in the fact that Derek's eyes were immediately drawn to the action. He stared up at Derek's dark eyes, and couldn't help but ask cheekily, "So. You really think i'm cute?"

And there it was. Derek's nervous facade broke away into relief as his mouth twitched, and he nodded slowly, hands flexing against Stiles' hips before pulling him even closer, as if afraid Stiles would suddenly make a break for it.

"I think you're gorgeous."

Stiles smiled, small and shy. His stomach was a knot of nerves and butterflies, but he felt so, so good despite it. Carefully, he leaned up and pressed his lips against Derek's. A content sigh escaped through Derek's nose, and Stiles' couldn't help but grin into the kiss.

 

Who knew a prank could lead to this?

 

 

End.

 

 

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If you have any prompts you would like me to fill, or just want to request a special fic, let me know, and I will do my best to serve!  
Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading.


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